I am a college student in the U.S. of A., I was born and raised in California, and I'm 21.
I recently spent almost a year abroad and I'm finally back to finish school.
Here is a little history on my beliefs. I was raised Christian, like a lot of people who find the natural religions I know, and these beliefs were NEVER shaken. I taught the bible to children and lead other ages as well. I volunteered to help my church and other less fortunate people etc. The whole shebang. There wasn't one event that made me feel resent and anger toward Christianity and there still isn't. I never thought my beliefs would change. In the end it wasn't my beliefs that ever did change, just the label by which to define them.
The major thing that led me to a pagan path was when I realized that I didn't feel comfortable saying I was a Christian to myself if I didn't believe the exact same thing that the Bible did. Again, nothing was wrong with the Bible, but I felt like I was being dishonest with the Christian God if I said that yes I fit into that when I knew that I didn't. I was usually saying, "The Bible says this..." however, in my mind I was saying, "...however...".
For example:
I read a bible devotional that said that God was made of both woman and man attributes to be one God. I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, that makes so much sense to me!" This led me to really understand the feeling I had always had, an androgynous God not a "He".
In high school and college there were quite a few deaths that I heard of. Three were suicides and one was a freak health accident. The one that hit a nerve was the latter, because I knew this person. Everyone was putting on their mourning face and saying he was so good and they knew he was with his family in heaven. In my head I kept thinking, okay but in the Bible he would go to hell, there is obviously the possibility of God taking him into heaven because I can't judge, but same with the suicides. Suicide equals death for eternity in hell. Right?
Fast forward to when I met my now boyfriend a few years ago. He has a different religion than mine then and now. The discussion of religion with him really did force me to acknowledge what I had been thinking all along= I know that no matter what religion you practice, God would be happy to see how much love and faith you have in your worship for him.
Then in September of last year (don't judge) I was watching Practical Magic with Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. I LOVE Halloween so I was getting my Halloween movies in early. What struck me as interesting was when Sandra Bullock says, "There is no devil in the craft,". What???
Mind you, this whole time I had tried to be fair to every religion and only spoke of what I knew of it, if I didn't know enough about it I would look it up. I was so upset with myself that I completely assumed everything about witchcraft and pagan paths based on what I grew up with instead of facts. Needless to say I started looking Wicca up online and realized that too much of what the overall general beliefs of Wicca (I know not the more specific ones) were the exact ideas I had pushed back!
There is a whole long journey that happened in between my growth in my path, including going abroad, but that can come at another time.
Why am I closeted?
People have their own preferences and feel that being closeted isn't the best solution. In my circumstances, I find it is the most harmless way to be able to worship the God and Goddess in peace. Two people know, myself and my boyfriend (and probably the girl at the bookstore that I buy my books from haha). This is the way I practice that is workable with the situations in my life, but I know that if things were a little different, I wouldn't be closeted. I believe that the world-view in a lot of places is changing and I do believe that it will eventually help others come out of the broom closet. However, in this state and time I am peacefully growing on my path and wanted this chance to grow more by creating a community that I can be a part of.
I believe that my path will constantly grow, however at this moment I consider myself a solitary witch. I've always had a strong feeling to be connected with my heritage from Europe and from North America.
Until next time, Blessed Be!
Coming up: I show you my portable altar that I bring to my dorm!
Coming up after: Books, Books, Books!
-The Closet Witch
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